Confidence/Five

[This is the fifth, and last, installment on the theme of confidence. Stay with me; the story will unfold into some pleasant surprises.]

Dear friends,

At the end of our first rendezvous, Paul asked me, "Where do we go from here?" Within a few months' time, we weren't going anywhere, but I was. I am.

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As I was perusing the Wordstock 2009 festival guide yesterday, I noticed there would be a group of panelists who will discuss "how their community shapes their work." I pondered that for a few moments and then began to reflect on the community around me that shapes my writing.

I have always said that I cannot be a writer without an audience, but I should also add that I cannot be a writer without a community to inform who I am. Many of my stories are inspired by conversations and experiences I have shared with others. Sometimes the idea is the specific conversation we are having, other times the conversation initiates personal revelations of specific themes and threads in my life. Yet, no matter how I get there, I cannot get there alone.

Several years ago, Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz and, most recently, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, said that he tries to remain kind to the people he writes about in his stories. This lesson has stayed with me ever since. So, too, my aim is to be kind to the people I write about. I choose to do this simply because they are my community. Unlike the illness or my shifting feelings on any given day, these people stay with me forever. Their contributions to my life, the words they speak into my heart, the time they gift to me - all profoundly impact my life. I am a better person because of these people: I am happier, freer, wiser, and humbler because my community has chosen to love me where I am.

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I have visited Seattle seven times since I first visited my doctor in October 2008, and each time, the sky has shed its gray jacket to allow the sun to come out and play. I am not naive - the weather in Portland and Seattle is quite similar - but still, I have found all my visits to Seattle to be inspiring, inviting, hopeful.

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Last week, my doctor's receptionist said that I look like Maggie Gyllenhaal. I smiled big. As one of the most consistent actresses around today, she is intelligent, beautiful, and a bit snarky. Yes, please.

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Where do I go from here? Seattle. I am moving to Seattle. The possibility surfaced somewhere in these last few months, though I suspect the possibility has been unknowingly simmering since last October.

The move is a choice; the decision was made entirely in freedom. I am not fleeing Portland, rather, I am pursuing Seattle and the opportunities that it holds. In addition to my graduate studies (which I can do from anywhere), I will be pursuing freelance writing and a bit of consulting in the Organizational Development field. I find I am the happiest when I am writing, in the presence of others, evaluating systems, and doing project-based work.

I am moving to Seattle because I enjoy the thrill and the mystery of exploration. I have many more adventures to take, possibilities to pursue, opportunities to experience God's beauty, and people to meet. Last fall, I wondered aloud at what time my circle of community would grow again. I think now is about that time. It is time for a fresh start, for something new.

This is the journey of confidence.

A.
P.S. I am aiming to move sometime around the beginning of January, give or take. No worries, I will continue blogging about my experiences living in Seattle. But my Washington residency status won't keep me from visiting Portland (since my family lives here, my siblings keep popping out babies, and I will maintain a few projects from here). Who knows? Maybe you will see me at Imago Dei or sitting in a coffee shop or out exploring the city. I plan to remain in touch with my Portland community - with you. 

And now that I am officially looking for project/contract work in and around Seattle, know of anything? :)